Every morning I wake up and get in the bath tub. Sometime while I'm in there, Lily will come in, sit on my towel, and say, "Good Morning, Momma." I'll ask her if she slept well and if she had any dreams. Sometimes instead of coming in, she'll crack the door open and sniff loudly. When she doesn't want to take a bath, I tell her she's stinky and she doesn't want to smell bad. So she thinks it's hilarious to stick her head in the bathroom and tell me that I'm stinky.
When I get out of the bathroom, she crawls up onto the couch in exactly the same spot with whatever toy is her favorite and wants cartoons turned on. Since she's started taking her pajamas off sometime in the night, she wants to be covered up with her "special blanket that you made me." (Let me tell you, that makes all of the time I spent making it well worth it.) While I'm getting ready she gets her self all awake. She'll ask for chocolate milk (Pediasure) and sometimes she'll say she's hungry. By the time I'm ready for work, she'll be ready to play and will ask me, "What I am going to do today, Momma?" I'll tell her that Daddy will be home, or she's going to Grandma's, or that Dah is coming to stay with her.
Well, starting Monday, we've got a whole new morning routine. Lily is starting daycare. Now I know that this isn't a big deal for probably millions of people everyday in America, but for some reason, it's a HUGE deal to me. Most of the child bearing and rearing stuff I've just made a choice about and moved on. Natural childbirth? Nope, give me drugs. Breastfeeding? Absolutely. (I may have been a bit militant about this one, but it's the exception.) Organic, homemade baby food? Not at our house. Gerber will do just fine. Cloth diapers? Nope. To vaccinate or not to vaccinate? Shots for Lily, please. Now if all of those things are big deals to you, good for you. Whatever you think is best for your baby and your family, but those things didn't really matter to me. I guess I figure that Lily's life will probably not be affected by whether or not I buy Pampers. (I know about being enviromentally conscious and all of that, but you what I'm trying to say.)
I don't know why, but I've made my stand on daycare. I've been anti-daycare, in fact. (Not for your family. Really, I mean it. Do what's best for yours. I don't judge you. I understand that you have to work and someone has to keep your kids. I get it. I'm only speaking for my family.) I worked nights at Wal-mart for 9 months and didn't sleep for those 9 months so that Lily didn't have to go to daycare. Then I got a different job and Lily has gotten to stay with Daddy and Grandma and Dah ( and the babysitter for a little while.) Well, now we have to do something else. So Lily is going to daycare. (We're calling it school, but that doesn't fool me. I know it's still daycare.) The place is close to our house. It seemed really nice when we've visited. They do preschool every morning. There will be kids there for Lily to play with (She "don't like boys", though. We're working on that.) I know all of those things, and it still makes me want to cry when I think about it. I know that, despite what I've heard around my office, it's not working mothers and daycare that is ruining society (I had a talk with Bill about how those weren't ok things to say for at least the next 3 weeks, really ever. He understands.) I know that every night I will still have exactly the same amount of time I have now to teach Lily how to be a sweet little girl who loves herself and other, who thinks she's beautiful, is proud of herself and her accomplishments, and is eager to try and learn new things. But for today and tomorrow and the next few days, I'm gonna tear up when I think about it and get mad that they aren't paying me $103 a week to have the privilage of keeping my Lily pie. Say a pray for us.